If you are like me, you like certainty, security and stability. I cling to certainty, security and stability, yet oddly enough, my job is considered by most to be uncertain and unstable. Why you may ask? Because my job is dependent on people, and people are a HUGE variable! With the economy the way it is, the only thing that is certain is uncertainty - change! I don't want to come across as being Debbie Downer today. Change can be good. Change is good! Change is God!
Today, I was blindsided by change. I was blindsided by my coworker! Move over Sandra because the Oscar goes to my coworker! I'm not insinuating that my coworker was putting on a show or an act, but if anyone is going to win an award for "the blindside" it should be my coworker!
My coworker was a hard worker. And to top it off, she was very good at her job! She was so good and worked so hard that it pushed me to work harder and be better at my job! So for her to tell me today that she would no longer be working with me, came completely out of left field! She voluntarily quit a job that provided an income and paid her bills. She left a job when so many others are struggling to find one. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it!
I think I am handling this change fairly well considering that I'm losing a wonderful team member, revenue, production and income and at a time when I'm still adjusting to my biggest change in life - my baby! I generally don't handle change well. I never did. I was one of those kids that cried when Mom dropped me off at daycare and cried when she picked me up! Today, I have a tendency to cling to the past. However, I know that some things...some people are only meant to be in our lives for a moment in time - a season.
It has been a dream of mine to grow my business. In order to do that effectively, I need to grow my team. So to lose a team member at this point in time is a bit devastating. Oddly enough, I had a conference call earlier this week with one of my business mentors. She talked about emotional management. As a woman, this is so important! With any dream or goal, there is bound to be some level of disappointment. Things will not always go according to plan. There will be a few stumbling blocks along the way - opportunities to make things better. However, we have to manage our emotions in order to succeed in our dream.
Emotional management is cyclical. In the cycle, there are four phases: excitement, frustration/shock, fear/crisis, and recommitment.
Excitement Phase: At this phase, you have decided your dream or goal. You are excited because you know it will happen if you keep working and work hard!
Frustration/Shock: This is the bump in the road. At this phase, you get frustrated that things are not going according to plan, or you are shocked by something that you had not planned for (e.g. your best coworker/ team member quit!). You become impatient with yourself, you become impatient with your coworkers or team, and you may become impatient with your clientele.
Fear/Crisis: This is the phase where you may fear the unknown or fear the change. You want to quit or throw in the towel. At this phase it feels easier to just be complacent.
Recommitment: This is the phase were you recapture your dream. You've taken a step back, calmed down, re-evaluated the situation, gathered your thoughts, and you've reignited the fire of desire for your dream or goal.
The key to emotional management is how quickly you move through the phases. Sometimes I go through the phases all in one day. Sometimes it takes a few days, a few weeks, or a few months to really recapture the dream. The quicker you can move through the cycle, the better you will be. Hopefully you come out of the cycle with a stronger sense of purpose.
One of the books I turned to when I got the news that my coworker was quitting was One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life
by Kerry and Chris Shook. They have a chapter or lesson designated for each day. The lesson that pertains to this posting is called Hurricanes. The Shooks state that "We can't prevent the hurricane winds of change from blowing into our lives....The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you down....In your career, a lost opportunity can snuff our your dream or inspire you to fan the flames more vigorously." (136). As I write this post, I'm "turning" through the phases. I started out in the frustration/shock phase. I was shocked from the news. Then I thought about just throwing away the possibility of growing my business and just sticking out mediocrity because it's easier. I didn't want to deal with the growing pains. Now, I've decided that I'm not going to let one person or any person steal my dream, or control my dream. It's MY dream! So when you find yourself in a hurricane of change or a bump in the road, in the words of the Byrds "turn turn turn"!
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